The Steps Towards Being Happy

What is happiness?

Happiness is a feeling that we embody when special things that we see as positive happen. We associate these events, things, or people with the hormones our bodies create when we see these things or go into these situations. Most of us know the hormones and neurotransmitters that are released when we encounter these moments.

Dopamine, known as the feel-good hormone, oxytocin is the cuddle hormone, and serotonin, the happiness hormone. There are a few others that take part in the chemical process inside our bodies when this occurs like endorphins that are related to relaxation.

Happiness is relative to everyone and we all experience it in our own way. We all have different things that activate these hormones because we are all unique, but these things are regularly fairly similar. The first step to achieving happiness is understanding where real happiness comes from.

What brings us happiness?

Our happiness in this world is normally driven by people and situations that are and happen in our lives. If someone tells you you are pretty you will get a positive emotion. If you see a dog, you will probably (I hope so) get a positive emotion. We get a raise and we become happy.

All of these things go back to an external source of happiness. A compliment, a pet, money, etc. It summarizes things that don’t come from inside. Things that we receive and happen to us in our lives.

The problem is that we become dependant on these happy situations. We hope that they last long each day to get throughout the day being happy. One bad thing happens and our whole mood shifts. That is why our happiness can’t be dependant.

Internal happiness

A happiness that is non-dependant on external stimulus is internal happiness that comes from ourselves. I would call it unconditional happiness. It comes from a place of self-love and observation. Implies looking at our feelings form a place in which we are just observant.

It consists of acknowledging them and understanding why we feel the way we do. Then it goes to releasing that negative emotion and knowing that it comes from an outside source and that we are happy with ourselves.

I know that emotions can be overwhelming and we need to allow ourselves time to feel but it is not about drowning in them. Observe and look at your patterns and how you react to certain situations that tend to be happy in your life.

A book that you could read to create and make your journey on internal happiness flow easier is Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life by Sylvia Boorstein. It talks about how to remain engaged in life day after day and how can we keep our moods up even when it’s challenging.

Deciding to be happy

I like to see it as deciding to be happy. It can sound absurd because it is not like you just turn on a switch and you transform all of your emotions into happiness. But, it does start by deciding that you wish to be happy and get out of the hole you have gotten into.

It starts with acknowledging that you don’t want to feel this way and realizing which steps you can take to give your mood a 180º turn. That comes from getting to know yourself and how you react. Decide to be happy first and take the first steps towards internalizing your happiness.