how to balance life during the frenzy of the holidays?
I don’t know when you are reading this, but surely an ending is near you of some sort. In my timeline over here, it’s the 6th of December 2022 and the year is ending. As endings approach, we have to ask ourselves some questions.
The usual ones include a hint of panic. Are we doing everything right? How the heck does time fly that fast? Have I done enough this year? Why am I not where I want to be? Why can’t I be more grateful for where I am in life?
panic, panic, panic.
It’s cuffing season and I think a lot of us more than cuffing people we cuff to ideas. Depending on our mood and our general state, we marry to ideas of what the year has been and what will come in the forceable future.
If you are one of the lucky ones, you think you are doing pretty great but that you could be doing better.
With this cuffing of ideas season also comes a lot of remembering the things that we haven’t done that we said we were going to do. So we go into a speedy frenzy of trying to tie loose ends before the year is over. But isn’t winter supposed to be about resting?
How is the season in the equation?
Archetypally, winter is the time for death and rest for then the rebirth to follow in the spring. If we allowed ourselves to move like the seasons, we would probably be hibernating. But let’s be honest… in this society? That will not happen for most of us. So what do we do instead? How can we embrace this environment of rest and release?
How can we hibernate without leaving behind our duties, or daily life, work, family, relationships, goals, aspirations, e.t.c. The list could go on forever. I mean, when am I supposed to buy all those Christmas presents when I have to be finishing 5 unfinished projects, hand in 4 assignments by next Tuesday and still read the 6 books that are left to get to my 2022 reading goal?
We can be ambitious people, and we can try to put all of this into play. But to do that, we need to learn to balance and not to juggle.
What is the difference between balancing and juggling?
I think that by hearing the terms; you get an idea. If you need more colors in that picture, let me paint it for you. Imagine a professional juggler that works at a circus. They are probably standing on one of those unicycles and have a red nose on. They are balancing a good 5 balls on their seemingly octopus like hands. Now they have the 5 balls planned.
They know that there will not be any more balls thrown at them. They are doing a great job. Well, guess what, you are not a professional juggler (if you are, let me know I don’t know any) and life doesn’t have a limit of how many balls it throws at your T-Rex hands.
Trying to juggle everything in your life is probably going to lead you to fall off your unicycle.
If we learn to balance things, everything stays stable. Of course, the balance might tip to one side or another, but as long as you keep everything in check and you are paying attention to how everything is being allocated, you should be more than okay.
This allocation of weight is how we balance our energy. In this last month, ask yourself what are you putting your energy in that is not worth putting more weight on the wrong side of the balance.
How can you shift things so that they are more stable and allow you more peace of mind?
The first step is to look at what we must do
- Set the priorities. What are the things that if you don’t do will disrupt the flow of your life? Like eating a meal, handing in projects at work on time, or even cleaning the house.
The second step is to look at what you really want to do
- What are the things that you have been dying to do for a while that you haven’t done for lack of time? Make time for at least one of them. If you really wanted to read 20 books this year and you only ready five, then maybe read one more really short book.
The third step is to find the stuff that you are only doing because you think you need to
- And that might be because of what other people are doing, or some habits that you have had for years. We normally add these things without thinking about our list of to dos.
- The other day, I thought I should really go to central London to see the Christmas lights in Oxford Circus. To give you a visual if you don’t know what that looks like, it is a sea of tourists and people all crammed up trying to get Christmas presents and no space to walk. I really dislike going there but I thought I should go because everyone back at home will ask me about it. Am I going now? Absolutely not.
Get off the unicycle, maybe remove one or two of the balls. You will see how you find balance.
End of the year balancing prompts:
Sometimes we don’t know how to start this process, even when given steps. So let’s start by asking ourselves some questions to bring us into the mood.
- How do you wish you were feeling right now instead of feeling like you are juggling everything?
- What does balance mean for you? What would it consist of?
- Look back to January of this year. What are some things that you wanted to do or accomplish this year?
- How do you feel about what you have or have not done? What feelings does it bring you?
- Did you stop doing what you wanted to do this year to do what others expected you to do? If so, how?
- How do you choose to lean into the discomfort of what this ending entails?
As I mentioned in the beginning, this is an ending of some sort. We are surrounded by shifts at the moment and even though for some of us some things might not really change symbolically; it is a shift.
Welcome this symbolic ending. Whether you welcome it juggling and struggling or trying to find a balance, it is up to you. Maybe what you need is to learn to juggle. Or maybe what you need is to re-balance your scales and leave some things behind. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself.
