The privilege in the self-care industry

Why is conventional self-care a privilege?

Self-care and self-development as they are marketed recently are all about selling products to people that are seeking change. They take advantage of people who don’t really know anything about what self-care really is and sell them as much as possible.

Self-care and self-development at the end of the day are not how many face masks you can buy or how many planners you fill. It is about changing the mindset inside of ourselves, changing our negative thought patterns. It is work that is done from the inside. Does it take a lot of time? Yes, it takes patience, self-knowledge, and being really perceptive. I say that self-care is a privilege mainly for the first one. Not everyone has the means to buy a whole skincare routine and 3 yoga classes a week. Also, referring to the second one, not everyone has the money to buy these courses that cost thousands of dollars to improve your mindset. Not everyone has the privilege of having that much spare time to think about themselves for 5 minutes.

For example

Think of a mother of a marginalized community with 4 kids. She works a lot to push her family forward, has to take care of her children and her house.  Probably makes food for all the family every day and comes home from work really late. She is not going to have time for a daily routine that includes 1 hr of yoga, 1 hr of meditation, 10 minutes of reading a self-help book, or any of those things. She probably is not going to be listening to advice telling her that making every meal organic is going to improve the mood of her household. It is a privilege to have the money to meal plan and make organic food every day.

As another example, take a broke college student. They don’t have time to be doing that either or the money even. Between studying full time, working part-time, trying to maintain a healthy relationship with their partner and with their family + trying to have a social life. It barely leaves any time behind to do all of those things.

How is pushing it harmful to your mental health?

The pushing of all of these self-care expectations is very damaging. It makes people believe that they are not doing enough to be better. That they always have to seek to improve because there is something wrong with them. It can also lead to a cycle of overspending on these courses and products because they seek happiness.

And don’t get me wrong, courses do work, but they take a lot of commitment and time outside the course. You have to reflect on yourself and the findings you have made. It becomes daunting to not have the help needed to get through those hard times, like a therapist. It becomes overwhelming for most people that they push it away. On the other hand, they might become obsessed with it and spend all of their time and resources trying to “improve” without even enjoying life. 

What are other types of self-care that we can use?

A more accessible type of self-care in my opinion is just allowing yourself to be you and be present in everything you do. That will allow you to appreciate every moment and all the little things around you. I believe that ultimately leads to happiness as you explore the control and release of emotions by looking at everything beautifully.

This allows you to respect yourself and be kinder with yourself every moment of the day. It shows you how to put yourself first in a healthy way. Observing your surroundings with love is medicine. Journaling also helps a lot, you have probably heard it thousands of times but it works. It doesn’t even have to take that much time out of your day.

For example, I used to journal a lot and do a lot of shadow work prompts (a practice to heal your inner child) but as I became a student once again I now journal when I am feeling really strong emotions. This helps me process them in a healthy way to be calmer.

I just want to say that the types of self-care that I mentioned as privileged are not bad at all. I indulge in a lot of them. What I mean is that there is always a cheaper, more conscious option to up-leveling yourself and the way you feel every day.