Why is my life upside down all of a sudden?

There comes a time in which a lot of emotions have come together and they become overwhelming. It may be because of a lot of things that have happened lately in your life. Maybe just one big event. This might be the time in which you realize that you don’t like how you are living. That you will like to fix certain things about yourself. First of all let me tell you that you are not something that is broken, or damaged. You are yourself, but you might be carrying a lot of things in your mind that currently affect you and put a toll on your mental health. 

Lesson 0: Why is everything going wrong all of a sudden?

This feeling that everything is going wrong may be a sign that you are ready to change. To remove all of these limiting thoughts, beliefs, and traumas that are keeping you back. Deciding that you are ready to learn about yourself and that you are ready to recognize your “flaws.” You may start realizing things that you do, or things that tend to happen to you. Recognizing all of this doesn’t mean that everything is going wrong now. But that you are becoming aware of these issues that you have kept. They are coming up to the surface and they are ready to be healed. 

Why am I ready?

The truth is that we are always ready for change but we only realize this until we accumulate so many emotions that we get tired of who we are or what we are living. We realize we are ready when we feel ready to confront these things. Sometimes you don’t even feel ready for it but it starts happening by itself and you are forced to live this as it happens. 

What are my tools?

You may not know it but you have all of the tools inside you to make the change that you wish to make, you just need to learn how to use them. This of course takes time, and dedication to yourself but you will slowly progress. Also don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional as I have, even if you don’t have serious mental health issues you are allowed to talk to someone about your feelings and they will help you recognize the negative patterns that are keeping you stuck where you don’t want to be. The biggest tool you will need is your willpower, and this will not always work since you may have attachments and really marked patterns but slowly, you will allow yourself to change.

The process is not linear

Something really hard to learn is that healing is not linear. I still struggle through this daily. I get frustrated when I don’t manage to handle my emotions the way I have learned or when I fall back to old habits. My therapist has taught me that it is okay to fall back. The point is that you don’t stay there and that you learn to get back out. That will no longer be your normal state. You may return one in a while to visit those patterns but slowly it will be less often until one day you don’t even realize that you are not allowing yourself to go back there again. 

My experience

Sometimes it all starts when you feel like everything is going perfect. Slowly things that you had for certain start falling apart and you start falling apart with them. That is how it happened to me. The quarantine was hard with my relationship with my father which then reflected on my relationship with my partner. I now realized that I mirrored all of those emotions towards them. I realized I wanted to heal so I started going to therapy and surprisingly everything started to go worse. Why? Because I got to understand my wounds and knowing your weaknesses and analyzing trauma hurts. Even if I sank a little bit lower it was to rise way higher than I was before.