how to accept the bittersweetness of life?

Just a little bit smaller. Why do things have to be a big deal and perfect 24/7?.

This is what my therapist told me after me being confused about how things can be just a little bit away from perfect and STILL be good.

The concept of things still being good and okay, even though they are not perfect, is hard for a lot of us.

Why does that date need to be completely perfect or it becomes automatically bad?

Things are allowed to be slightly smaller. Size doesn’t matter if things are still good.

Quality over quantity

We have all heard this saying, but I don’t think we give it enough thought.

We live in a society in which we want more and one in which we also want more of the best, even if it’s not actually the best, and it’s just disposable.

Look at fast fashion, you might call what is trendy at the moment “the best” but you only consider it that because it’s trendy. Just like tomorrow, something else will be trendy. It is not about it being good, but it’s about it being what’s in.

It’s about it making us immaculately relevant at the moment. Part of having it all and part of it being perfect comes from us wanting to be important and socially relevant.

But where is our genuine quality? When do we start setting our own standards for what is good good and for what is good enough?

Because an apple doesn’t have to be from the organic farmers’ market to be nutritious, does it?

If you are starving, would you only eat the apple if it’s from the farmer’s market?

I think that quantity can get confused with quality sometimes.

It is one thing to buy those Channel heels because they are your dream shoes and you have been looking to feel a certain way about a pair of shoes in years than wanting to buy them because they are cute and they show status (which is also valid).

That doesn’t take away the quality of the shoes, but within our need and our meaning is where the true quality over quantity is.

But yet, relating it to the farmers’ market apple, if you need good heels, that doesn’t mean that can only get Channel.

If you need flip-flops for the beach, why would you go to the beach with sneakers just because you didn’t find the perfect flip-flops?

I wanted to talk about quantity and quality because we use it to the determine the worth of something a lot when things just are.

Because we apply these concepts of materials to our relationships, which are way more complex and can hardly ever approach perfection in a certain moment.

We thrive for aesthetics; we thrive for efficiency, but sometimes we just have to allow things to be without wanting to make them better or more.

While looking for the best of the best and what has the most, we lose the times in which we can see the things that simply just catch our attention.

How are you going to live a life and have relationships when you are constantly focusing on asking yourself if this is the best deal that you could get?

How does complaining destroy us?

When looking for more, when looking for better. Trying to find quality AND quantity drives us to complaining.

If nothing can ever be enough or perfect for us, we are left complaining about life.

Who can enjoy life when they’re constantly focusing on the tiny details that are wrong? Complain after complain after complain. We are left not enjoying anything that surrounds us with the excuse that nothing is good enough for us.

How does that make us feel? To live in a world in which there is never a sense of satisfaction because there is no resilience, withstanding or tolerance.

It is all about the lens we look at life with… Are we putting our judgement glasses on or our gratitude ones?

The life that we complain about might be the life another wishes to have, and that is not to say that your dreams aren’t valid.

But when we choose to appreciate the true quality of what we have is when we can see a different complete picture and that’s when more things that make us feel appreciative will show.

Let’s choose to enjoy life. Let’s choose a little bit smaller and to not always go big or go home but to just go.

Sometimes the necessary can make us happy and content. Plus, isn’t that a bit of anti-capitalistic? (double win)

Here is an example because why not:

Does a date need to be a dinner with flowers and candlelight ending in the perfect night and a bird-chirping morning afterwards? Or can a date be a reheated pizza and a movie at home, ending in a disagreement that brought you closer to your partner?

Some of us might consider the second one unideal and not a perfect night, but others might see the moment, although smaller, as incredibly more significant than a candlelight dinner.

The bittersweet of life

Life is like sweet chilli. It is bittersweet; it is spicy and sweet; it is both and it is neither. Just because something is spicy, it doesn’t take away the fact that it is sweet.

Just because something is slightly less than we wanted it to be, it doesn’t mean that it is bad or worthless.

I believe we once in a while need to open our eyes to not grading, judging and giving a score to everything that surrounds us.

Some things aren’t meant to be scored, some things are just here to fulfill a purpose. Whether they do it perfectly or not, they might still do it.

A date will fulfill the purpose of spending time with that person, whether it was that great.

Just because something is bitter sweet it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is actually sweet.

The idea of a little bit less

Look, the idea of a little less is still hard for me to grasp. I am still applying and understanding, but this isn’t marked. It won’t take away from me posting it with my concerns, opinions and beliefs.

Just like everything else in life, sometimes a little bit less is not bad. We need to hide our perfectionism more often. Let that little demanding princess sit in the backseat more often than not.

Prompts

• What would be something good in your life that you wouldn’t mind having a little bit less of?
• How can you take in a bittersweet day in without judgement?
• how can you find enjoyment in the smaller and simpler moments?
• What does true quality mean to you?
• How does your focus on the negative aspects of life prevent you from fully experiencing joy and gratitude?

Remember to look within for your true meaning of things rather than searching for what quality means outside of you. A little bit less is good as well. We don’t need the best of the best; we need what works for us. For the most part, we just need to step away from judgement and perfectionism.