the reason you shouldn’t seek to make your days more enjoyable
We all want a life full of perfectly enjoyable moments. But sometimes that is not what we get. I want to tie back to perfectionism and our need to control our every moment, though.
When we don’t get that perfect moment, how do we act? How do we respond?
It may be that we are constantly trying to make every moment enjoyable and make every moment perfect. But doesn’t that take away from the actual enjoyment of our moments?
whispers… it does
Now, we are trying to enjoy a sunny day in the place we live in and we run into inconveniences, or things just don’t match with our idea of the enjoyable day that we want to have.
Let’s be honest, we can get a little feisty when things don’t go our way, so how do we make an “omg this day is going like poop” moment into a “look at how that bird flies through the clouds” kind of day.
First of all, don’t put that much pressure on your day
Poor day, imagine if you were it. How bad would you feel if someone were constantly trying to fix you? Definitely not enjoyable.
Anyway, what are the things that you can do to make your day more enjoyable? Among these are not answers but discussion and little things that you can apply to your mindset that will make an already enjoyable day less scary.
Big pauses
Don’t worry, this is not interfering with your productivity or schedule. When I say big pauses, it is like the idea of a deep breath.
Look up from what you are doing once in a while, open your periphery.
A big pause doesn’t necessarily mean throwing your concentration out the window, but touching base with yourself.
A tiny reminder that you actually exist in this world and that you are here.
This can also be a tiny pause that feels big. Step outside for a second, take a break, breathe in fresh air.
I always like how smokers have a reason to step outside and vibe without truly doing anything. It certainly looks a bit less weird than if I just step outside and just stand there. In reality, who cares? No one. Go stand outside and look around for a bit. Get inspired.
What is happening around you?
This brings me to my second point. Look outside of you. If we get our heads out from under us and actually see the world, we can appreciate a lot more our own moments.
What is happening around you? Is the trash being collected? Is there a street musician? Look at that child happy because they get to eat a candy.
What happiness and special moments do you get to see?
The truth is that these moments might be the most regular daily occurrences, but when you decide to make them special and look into it they become special.
Suddenly you notice how the garbage collector is not bothered by the smell and you wonder how long he has been doing this.
All of a sudden, you remember when your mom gave you your favorite lollipop the other than that you hadn’t had in years. You remember your own happy moments and you create connection without connecting.
Whenever you have the chance, look around for a bit. What is the look on people’s faces? How are they sitting down?
I am currently at a library and I can’t help but notice and appreciate how every single person has their own task and their own projects to do and the pure focus on their faces.
It is inspiring.
Once we decide that we are not the center of the world, well, more like… we acknowledge we are not the centre of the universe. We not only feel a little more real, but we also feel part of something. I am also in the library, probably with a focus face on.
Out of the mind into the body
Something that keeps us out of our enjoyment is ourselves. We are up here (points to the head) trying to understand how everything around us works and how we can shift things to make things better.
When all we have to do is drop into our bodies. To drop into our feelings of desperation for this day. How does it feel in our hearts to not be getting our way?
We can calm our body down. Drink water, take a deep breath.
There is always something that grounds us and takes us back to the moment and that is getting in touch with our bodies.
To stop thinking for 5 seconds and acknowledge our posture and our position on Earth.
If you are in a walk wondering why your day doesn’t feel more “wellness-y,” stop thinking about it.
Just get your eyes off the concrete and look up, feel your feet one step in front of the other.
I assure you you will feel more real and present.
If we are constantly questioning why we are sick, why we have a cough, it is just going to make our cough more obvious.
If we are thinking about how this moment is not as enjoyable as we want it to be, then it will not be.
Where attention goes, energy flows.
Surrender
Why are we so stubborn about fixing things around us and making them better? Those feelings make us incredibly uncomfortable, don’t they? I know they do. We are all human here and negative emotions are definitely not the best vibe.
But they are there for a reason and we need to feel them and experience them.
Let go of it. Let go of questioning why the dat isn’t going good. Stop asking yourself what you did wrong all the time. Just be.
Surrender for a second, surrender to all of those feelings that want to be felt and acknowledge them. That’s all they want.
Once you do, the curtains will open up, you will see more clearly.
See the unenjoyable parts of the day as a passing moment and not as something dreadful that you need to fix.
Make space for yourself, for your existence. Learn how to take up space in the way that your emotions have space, that your thoughts have spaced.
Do this so that you don’t feel crammed up there, so that your thoughts and feelings have space to breathe and that they have their time on stage.
Where is the love and gratitude?
Most importantly, gratitude. The power that us feeling grateful for the things in our life has on making life in general more enjoyable is brutal.
Try saying 10 things that you are grateful for out loud to see how your mood changes.
You can’t just say things that make you happy and proud and not feel those emotions. The same way that if you see a puppy or a baby smile, you will feel that joy within you as well.
Take love within you but also put it out. Inhale love but also exhale love, give. When we give, whether that be a smile or a favor, we connect with others. Connection with the good things is an easy path to enjoyment.
A day doesn’t have to be enjoyable to be a good day. We all have different definitions of what an enjoyable is.
A good day doesn’t have to be a perfect day. Let’s be grateful for the things that have found their way to us so far and open up to welcoming as what they mean to us.
Prompts
Staying in the moment is hard, and sometimes day are just not enjoyable. That being said, there are still a few things that can ground you down and make the day slightly better.
- What are 5 small things that you notice around you that have meaning?
- What are the feelings in you that you notice need to be welcomed and acknowledged?
- Have you stopped staring at the floor? What are you grateful for today?
- Take a deep breath and write about the changes that you notice in your body?
- Where are you putting your attention now? How does that make you feel?
Like I said at the beginning, don’t pressure your day, don’t force it. Sometimes we can’t fix things, and this is not the kind of thing that needs fixing. This is the kind of thing that needs accepting and welcoming. Introduce a little bit of surrender and gratitude into your day and see how that changes everything. Don’t forget to make space within yourself.
