Being assertive a journey to gain back your dignity

I recently started reading this book called “Question of Dignity: Learn to Say No and Gain Self Esteem By Being Assertive.” After finishing reading it I have identified with it incredibly and I have learned a lot about myself and the way I behave. I couldn’t find the book in English on Amazon but when it is up I will add it here. Meanwhile, I will link the one that is in Spanish if you want to check it out. 

What is being assertive?

Being assertive encompasses not being someone submissive and not being someone aggressive. Assertiveness comes from knowing how to express our disagreement towards people without feeling guilt, regret, or hurting someone’s feelings. It comes from in a smart way understanding how people reflect on your emotions and on how they affect your balance in life. Learning to be assertive is really hard because there is a right time and place for it and it all depends on how you feel and the risk you are in. Being assertive is hard because it is really easy to get in fights and go in the opposite direction of what you want.

What is dignity?

Dignity comes from being assertive. It comes from knowing how to respond and handle situations and people the best way possible so that you appear calm, thoughtful, and fair. Dignity is about the respect that you give to yourself and expect others to give to you. It is about not letting people humiliate you.

Two types of unassertive people:

There are two types of unassertive people. Those who are submissive and let others push them around, take advantage of them, and violate their rights. And those that are aggressive, pushy, abuse their power and generally cause trouble because of the way they communicate stuff. I know the second one might sound worse than the first one to a lot of people. But I need to remember you that having someone in your life that feels guilty and sorry and down with a victim mentality for everything that they do is also hard. It does affect you on a different level.

How can being assertive help you in your day to day life and give you back your dignity?

Being assertive can help you bring back your own power and dignity. People will listen to you more attentively and they will respect your boundaries and limits that you set up. It allows you to let go of unnecessary guilts and attachments that hurt you more than they do you good.

These are the main ideas of the book and what it is about. It also provides examples from the author’s patients since he is a clinical psychologist. It is easy to relate to his patients. The book goes deeply into our rights and how guilt starts to shape us. It really goes into the root of the problem. I really recommend this book and I hope you can enjoy it as much as I am doing.