In order to start healing you need to feel

LESSON 2: Allowing Yourself To Feel

What are emotions?

Emotions are reactions of our body, to thoughts, ideas, people, and situations. They come and go naturally allowing us to stay safe most of the time. What we don’t like about emotions is that when something negative happens, we have to deal with them. We have to be angry, upset, or frustrated, and most of the time we don’t want to feel like that. Or at least that is what we tell ourselves. We subconsciously often seek these emotions because they are our comfort zone.

Whether we grew up in an environment where these emotions were the norm or we used them to protect ourselves from people in our household. It is exactly the case for people that are addicted to conflict. These people often seek turmoil to be at peace, because that is what they are used to, and peace and happiness might feel good but subconsciously uncomfortable. We have to remember that anger is a barrier. It is also an emotion but its primary function is to shield the world from what we are actually feeling. Such as sadness, pride, fear, or even happiness. Anger is a powerful and strong emotion while the ones I mentioned previously are vulnerable and open. 

Hiding from our emotions vs feeling them

Sometimes we not only hide our emotions from the outside world but from ourselves as well. We tell ourselves that we are so strong and that no one can get in our heads or hurt us. But in reality, we are already hurt if we are hiding behind our anger. Maybe we are afraid to show our real feelings not only to others but to ourselves.

The other end of the spectrum is not allowing ourselves to feel these “negative” emotions. It is necessary to feel them in order to acknowledge what makes us happy and what doesn’t. These emotions are necessary to learn to heal. We need to feel them in order to learn why they are here. Also, it is important to heal because our health is a reflection of our mental health. If we don’t let emotions flow it will manifest in our body.

Letting emotions come in

When you are feeling strong emotions coming through your body. It doesn’t matter if it is happiness, sadness, or anger. You need to feel it. Identify where it is in your body. PIcture it being in your body as a thing. You can speak to that emotion as you understood it. Make it feel welcomed and acknowledged. Reflect on why it is there and why you are feeling it. This level of self-reflection can be hard because we tend to only concentrate on what is going wrong and what is currently happening.

As you acknowledge this emotion, let it go, let it flow through your body, and leave. Remember to not be hard on yourself for not being able to let this emotion go that easily. It is not going to be easy, but also don’t purposefully dwell on that negative emotion. If that emotion is a happy one, you can stay with it, you don’t have to let it go. That doesn’t mean you should block all other emotions out or that you need to stay at that happiness level always. You are allowed to feel other emotions.

Conclusion

This will help in your growth as a person because you are not limiting yourself. This lesson is about coming to the realization that you are human! You don’t have to be so hard on yourself and you don’t have to beat yourself up for feeling actual emotions. That is why they are there for. To feel them. Although opening yourself to feel can be hard, it is possible. It will take time and patience but you will get to the point in which you realize that your emotions are valid and that they are okay. Even when you don’t want them to be there.

Check out the previous Lesson! :
Lesson 1: Why is everything going wrong all of a sudden?