To understand why we fear change we need to know what is the change? For the purpose of this post, we will define change as a reconstruction of our life.
This being in the sense of beliefs, location, people, objects, routine, etc. For a vast part of our lives, a lot of us live in the same house with the same people. Mostly repeating the same routine every day and being consistent.
Change is given when we throw some of these factors off by a little bit. Let’s say you move to another country for a year, or you change school. These are really big changes since you are altering your whole reality at the moment.
But, minor changes even affect some people. Like changing the color of the walls in our rooms.
“Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”
Mandy Hale
The real question is why do we go through a sense of suffering sometimes when making these decisions for these rearrangements in our lives.
Why does it take us some much effort to let go of something so simple? Our world is made of constant change, even our bodies.
Nothing is given to stay the same for the rest of our time on this Earth. We need to learn that and get used to it.
For the ones that are having major life changes for the first time or for the kids that are scared that their teddy bear got a new button eye. It is normal to fear change.
But this is not going to be the last time change comes your way.
We need to be strong.
The first time something happens in our life we are always afraid because we are not used to it. That is why we need to learn how to get out of our comfort zone.
We need to try new things every now and then.
“You must welcome change as the rule, but not as your ruler.”
Denis Waitley
When there is a new person or a new big event in our life we are afraid of the result. The result can be anything, endless possibilities.
We are scared of the new relationship not working out. That the job abroad will be a disaster. This also comes hand in hand with getting out of our comfort zone.
Being in the comfort zone assures us the outcome of most of the decisions we take while we are in it. Uncertainty is certainly the biggest factor in why people are afraid of change.
We are afraid of what will happen.
“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”
Abraham Maslow
With every decision in our lives comes a sense of failure. It is normal to fear change when failure comes along. In order to overcome this sentiment, we need to learn how to fail and admire the lessons it brings to us.
We shouldn’t be afraid of it. Losing relationships or them falling apart comes side by side with certain life readjustments.
We need to learn that not everything is going to last forever, although we wish it would. If we really want to keep these people in our lives we need to try to not lose contact with them.
“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by discomforts.”
Arnold Bennett
Sometimes we are not only afraid of losing people but also of losing objects.
We may fear to give up certain items in our lives because of what they mean to us. The item might have an emotional significance to us. This leads to an unnecessary attachment to material things.
Don’t get me wrong there are some objects that are worth keeping for the memory but some that don’t bring us joy.
We need to learn to detach from material things in order to allow change to flow in its own way.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
John Maxwell
Change can be hard, especially when it involves readjustments such as moving countries.
Change is also good. Although when it is happening it can be challenging and even hurtful, it gives us the opportunities to grow which we need.
It provides opportunities to exit our comfort zone and improve as people. Not only does it change our current life situation but also changes our mindset.
Since nothing is given, and change is the only thing in the universe that is constant we might as well get used to it. When we get used to it, it will be less harsh on us.
It is okay to go through the emotions that one has when we go through change, but we need to know that it will not affect your core. Know its not the end of the world and you will get through it.
It will bring you benefits that will help you in life. If you are trying to get over a current major life change try doing something to express your feelings.
You can write in a journal and this will help you get your feelings and express gratitude. Other types of activities like gardening, exercising, or painting will help you get your feelings in line.
Accept change and greatness will come your way.
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
John F. Kennedy
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