why is guilt an important part of the healing journey?

There is a different type of guilt that comes along when you are on your healing journey. This is internal guilt and the only one at fault and the only one suffering is yourself.

So how does this guilt work and how can we solve it?

My healing journey has been full of ups and downs (obviously) and going through the process for the 4th time feels easier it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel all of the emotions.

If you have been through several down periods in your healing journey you’ll know what I mean. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the guilt that comes along with your healing journey until you heal it.

It’s a feeling of not being good enough to be healing. And the guilt of watching someone go through the same lessons as you, and trying to help. There is guilt and shame for not healing fast enough and there is a general sense of being lost.

You can also feel that sense of my life isn’t even that bad and there are people that have it worse. A sense of “deservingness.” Like you don’t know if you deserve to heal.

This happens especially when you praise to be in your healing journey and you pretend that everything is magical and working out for you when in reality you feel like you are falling apart.

No to mention that you also feel some sort of guilt for this “falling apart” side even existing.

It becomes hard to feel like you actually deserve to heal and that your pain should be acknowledged by yourself and by others if you choose to share it.

How does this guilt come to be?

Feeling like this starts when you are trying to find meaning for everything that is happening to you.

The reason why you specifically are going through this journey and why it feels like you are the chosen one for some reason. Let me tell you that unfortunately, you are not the chosen one.

I believe that everyone has the chance to open this door but depending on how we grew up and what we have been through is how we see who goes through the door and who doesn’t.

The people you meet also have a great impact on how you choose to start this journey and why.

So the sense of guilt that you are feeling is false. I shouldn’t call it false since what you are feeling is very much real but it is a feeling that is learnt in a way.

It can be people coming through your journey and telling you that you have no right in complaining that you felt abandoned as a child because you actually weren’t. Emotions are emotions, the way your body processed it might have been similar or the same as actually being abandoned.

When you relapse in your healing journey (and by relapsing I mean that you fall back into the old patterns) you also feel guilty for not being as good as you thought in your healing journey.

But I think there is no sense of being good at your healing journey.

I don’t think you can be good at it or an expert at it.

Every time you heal a new thing it’s different, you might have new tools under your belt but probably the new thing you have to heal will need another type of tool.

I understand feelings come with a sense of guilt, and getting a chance to heal your past also comes with a sense of guilt. Especially if you were taught that you don’t deserve good things in life like that.

All of this is tied down to your sense of worth. As I mentioned, to not feel this guilt you need to feel like you deserve to heal and you deserve the good results of it.

Enough describing the problem, what is the solution?

There are three steps that are very important in this journey:

Acknowledging that you are healing and it is something that you chose

By this I mean that no matter how forced on you this healing was by the universe, you chose to open to it. You chose to keep going and to keep healing. You could’ve easily sat down and watched your life fall apart in front of you. But you didn’t, you walked through that door and you didn’t stop.

Let go of things you can’t control (like other people’s healing journeys)

Going along with the metaphor of the door; you can’t push and force people through doors just because you love them. I know that it can be hard for you to see people that you love having a bad time and not trying to heal and improve like you but that is their choice (in a way). When you heal, you move up a scale, and you are taking your life to the next level, to the next energy. Most of the time the people around you won’t want to match your vibe and go to the next level. If they want to stay there you have to let them stay there. You can give them, as much advice as you want but if they don’t want to listen they won’t.

Assume, trust and carry on

The sense of guilt that you feel is the break of your healing journey. You are speaking out, “ah this is scary, I don’t want to keep going.” Since it’s tied directly with your sense of worth you will feel like everything that you have built is breaking, but it’s not. This is when trust comes in, and when you assume that everything is going to be okay.

And everything will. I guess that part of the healing journey is figuring out how to heal this guilt. I have given you the best tools that I have found. This feeling of guilt is also in me and it is part of my healing journey as well. I hope you find the answers you need within this discussion. As I find my own answers I will be sharing them with you.