instinct, intuition, inner voice: how to trust you can change your life?

The concept of willpower is what we believe that will take us where we want to be in life.

We think we have goals and then that leads to results and in between that is hard work and willpower.

While it’s not wrong, I would like to propose a question. Where do we even find will power?

Where is that little lever within ourselves that we can move and BAM will power to do all that we want to do in life?

In my life experience, which is not that much, it was way harder to find the lever of will power than to just simply do the thing.

But people want to be able to do the things that will take them there.

It is important to mention that the “there” whatever it means to you, doesn’t have to be a goal or even something material. In the January blogs, we discussed a lot about goals and how it is more important to set ourselves to growth that will then have a direct effect on our lives.

Here we will focus on the aim of igniting within us that part that wants change and growth.

Because we know that there is a part of us that wants it, but there isn’t a part that wants it and actually does something about it.

The need for measuring

I think a big reason is because it is not a measurable goal. Trust me, I have tried measuring this type of change. There have been graphs and bar graphs about how my mood is reflected by the days I do yoga or meditate or what are the things that have the biggest impact on it.

Let’s just say that it didn’t work out as inspiration. It just stressed me out more and made sure that I chose between a happy box or sad box at the end of the day.

Just like us, our days can be multifaceted. We could have the best morning and then be followed by the worst experience of our lives. There really is not much telling.

(Also, I’m pretty sure that we would all mark the sad box in our data at the end of that day).

So trying to measure and control (key word) everything in our lives is not going to cut it.

Our inner voice

I recently learned that we not all have a voice and constant commentary in our heads. But I believe we all have an inner knowing, a thing that understands us. For the sake of this, I will call it an inner voice.

This inner voice is the one that recognizes things, that says, “okay it is time to get out of bed today.” And you actually stand up.

It’s the decision maker, the one that takes action.

I recognize it as a part of me, a part that is moved by change and growth.

It took me a while to find that voice and to actually listen to it.

It would tell me “don’t do that you are going to regret it and will regret that decision.”

And I would be like “that’s the problem of future me,” little did I know it was still me.

When we want to change, we want to grow and evolve; we need to listen to that inner voice because that is exactly what it wants for us.

It wants us to learn and to stop repeating the mistakes of the past.

The thing with this voice is that it’s always so calm that it’s hard to listen to it when we have potent emotions and other people giving us their own advice that we forget to listen to its opinion. Sometimes we even lose it.

So how do we find it?

We stay quiet and open up to the discomfort of all the uncomfortable feelings that we really don’t want to feel. We let in everything and all the parts of us we have been pushing away because we are ashamed of them.

This inner voice helps us integrate all of this. It helps us accept all of them as part of us even if we don’t like them.

And once that happens, the inner voice will start getting louder.

It will tell us:

If this is the life that you want to live, if this is the life that you want to open your heart to and this is the life that makes you feel contentment, you need to rethink this decision or understand this part of you.

The inner voice is something that you learn to listen to.

It takes practice to do that once you find it, not even I fully listen to it. It is still hard for me to distinguish between impulsivity and that inner voice.

We can understand the inner voice as what some people call intuition, gut feelings, or instinct.

For me, the inner voice is all of those, but with a voice, it is when you actually learn to trust yourself enough to listen and take in what the intuition has to say.

It is still something fully embodied, not always in the head but in our being.

How to recognize it and use it to make decisions?

There is this quote by Freud:

“When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.”

SigmmundFreud

This quote I found it in “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell, in which he discusses when are we supposed to trust that gut feeling and when we should weight our options. Analyzing a lot of studies, he concludes using this quote.

You can think of all the qualities of two different chairs and make a list to weigh the decisions and that might influence whether you like the chair that you choose at the end. In other decisions, like when deciding if a friendship is worth continuing, you can hear the inner voice deep within you that itches.

That itch is the itch you should hear. That is the itch that is going to tell you it is not the problem of the future you, but of all of you.

Prompts to listen

Your inner voice is there, but you need to feel into it and go deep within yourself.

Here are some prompts that open up the itch and maybe start listening to it.

1. Where does the itch of knowledge live in your body? Where can you find that feeling of tensed up freedom?
2. What big changes do you think your inner voice screaming for you to make?
3. What do you think needs to happen for you to be ignited to grow?
4. If you were a tree, deep-rooted and connected to Earth with a lot of rings of knowledge, what would you do? What would be your next step?
5. What is the fear where your heart is seeking to open through?

These prompts may be vague, but they are rooting. Within that vagueness, you can find the strength of the inner voice.

I leave you with a knowing that has helped me a lot. If you ask many people what to do, you already know the answer deep within you. Your inner voice is there, you just have to listen to it.