Learn how to not feel guilty for moving away from home

August and September is the season where a lot of young people usually start leaving their childhood homes to go to work or university.

These moments come with a lot of emotion not only for the young adults but for those around them as well. I just want to start by saying that this blog post is being written from the perspective of someone moving away from home and across the world. 

Why do we feel a need to abandon the nest?

Some people choose to stay close to home for their future, while others decide to move as far away as possible. But why is this? Some of the people that move away will be to fulfill their lifelong dream and others just to explore.

In the end, they both subconsciously seek what is different than what they have. This is part of human nature as children go on to build their own lives. The need to “abandon” is really the need to become more independent and to create our own path in life. The independence that we might feel we don’t have at home.

How can this reflect in the people around us?

Sometimes the people that are part of our lives take this personally. They might think that you are moving away because you no longer want to have them near. Sometimes it is the opposite and in reality, we will miss these people with all of our hearts but deep down we know that it is time to take steps towards our future. The way people around us react can create emotions such as guilt or shame for leaving the household. You could feel guilty because you think you are abandoning those that you are really grateful for.

Loneliness is another feeling that comes with moving away from home. Leaving family and friends behind is not easy and you will have to find other people wherever you go but that can bring a lot of melancholy. When packing you might feel nostalgia for all of the moments that have passed. Some of these emotions are also felt by those that you are “leaving behind.”

Some useful advice to deal with emotions?

As we have talked about before, feeling our emotions is crucial. This can help us understand what we are going through better. Which can then make us feel better. In these moments feeling like your world is breaking apart is normal. It can be daunting to really talk to other people about what you are feeling, but expressing yourself is always good.

Having conversations with the people you are saying goodbye to can be helpful for both parties. As I am pretty sure that you might have been talking about the topic or showing emotions regarding it in front of others. If talking to someone is difficult for you or you feel shame regarding it, try writing them a letter. This way you don’t have to directly confront them about it, but you can still tell them how you feel.

Once you leave these emotions might get heavier but the anxiety about leaving should go down. By then the only thing left to do is to make yourself comfortable in this new environment and find ways to connect with the people you love.