The future is a concept that can be very stressful. We don’t know what is going to happen, who is going to be there, or if we are going to be happy or not. I was wondering why do we want to know. Would that change the present moment at all? Or is it the knowledge that everything will be okay and that we will find answers to all of our questions that which brings us calm?
If we are so anxious about the future, then there must be something in our present moment that is bothering us. Is it maybe because we secretly hope that it will be better than the situation that we are in now? Or we hope it won’t be worst?
We could get into all the philosophy and physics of how time works to try to be calmer about it. But I think it would just make us a bit more anxious. We think of the future as if the present were escaping our hands.
I appreciate the curiosity that we have. I appreciate that we are so keen to know what is out there for us as we could change the result of we don’t like what we see. To imply that we want to know about the future kinda implies that it is set. Which would imply that we have no control over it. This really depends on if you believe destiny and willpower exists or not.
To get deeper into this topic, we would have to look individually at all the opinions of each person reading this to dive into what the future means to each of them. That is why I will not talk about the future, but about the unknown.
The unknown is what you don’t know (insightful I know). It is free of space and time. It will always be there because we will never know everything. Many people see the unknown as the scariest thing they have ever encountered. I still see it like that sometimes. It is scary to not know the outcome of something very anxiety inducing that is happening in your life. It almost feels like if we knew it would be less scary.
For a moment, I want you to picture a life, a universe in which everything was known. You would know every single thing that would happen in your life from the day you were born. I am talking, every single thing. Let’s also say that these are all decisions you made before you were born and became a baby. You planned your own life.
Would you live that life? If I’m honest, I wouldn’t. I don’t even want to eat the same thing that I wanted to eat an hour ago. And you think I will want the same things that I wanted before I was a baby?
Not only that, but what about other people? We as an individual are not the only ones in this world and other people impact us the same way we impact them.
To add to the equation, as human beings, we change. People are constantly changing, they are learning; they are growing and evolving (unless they actively decide not to). But every single person in this world that goes about and interacts with other people learns something new that can change their minds about what they think life should be like.
We are fluid, and the unknown is what allows us to express that fluidity and to stay curious.
We fear having too many choices. We fear making wrong decisions. And we totally dislike having many doors we could walk through.
It gives us anxiety, and we get overwhelmed. Rightly so, because decisions are scary and they can be complicated and frustrating, especially if we live in a constant “the grass is greener on the other side” kind of mentality.
But this post won’t help you make any decisions, it won’t tell you want to do, and it will definitely not show you that you are going to be okay.
That is something that you have to do on your own.
What needs to be expressed in this space is that we can befriend the unknown.
That we need to be okay with it because it is one of the constants in this universe. Not knowing how things are going to go. How long your relationship with that special person is going to last, if you are going to find a job you like by the end of March or if your dad will finally listen to what you have to say?
We don’t know. And that is okay, because maybe we are not supposed to know. Maybe we are here walking through life learning things as we go and we will find out when we need to find out.
This is not about relinquishing all the responsibility we have over ourselves or our lives, but about opening up to our options and acknowledging the beauty of not knowing the answers.
If you want to go a bit out there, you can see it as a game. Many people choose to see life as a game that comes with its obstacles and its riddles and it makes it a lot less serious and way easier to flow through.
Overthinking is not always a negative term. We can think too much about the things that we desire and make fantasies up in our heads. But that would be us deciding about our future and imagining a set plan yet again.
What I want you to understand is that the point of this is to step back, sigh and go, “wow, I really could do whatever I want, I have so many options and the way I can live my life is limitless.”
Obviously saying in a positive tone (remember the sigh) and not with a tremendous anxiety for the future kind of way.
The other day I was hanging out with one of my best friends who, by the way, has an awesome blog as well.
This is it: https://www.sarasomewhere.com/
She has a beautiful life perspective, and she writes about it so poetically along with her impactful photography.
Anyway, I was telling her about how I was nervous that I only had a year and a half left of university and I didn’t know what I was going to do afterwards.
She just replied to me and in a soft voice repeated what I said, “Carola, you have a year and a half left.” And the way she said it just made me realize that I have a lot of time to come into the unknown and resurface in a different type of unknown with other unmade decisions.
This is where curiosity comes in, within the perspective of how we see the world.
Within the eye-opening realization that we can be in the unknown and that it is not something that needs to be solved instantly, that the answers will come to us as they tend to do.
So all we need is a shift of perspective towards the unknown and to be dropped into the present moment once in a while.
We know the theoretical concept of embracing the unknown, but when we are actually there, it can become harder to remember it and to apply it.
I think time is crucial in these situations in the sense that you allow yourself sometime to step off the decision making for a moment before you continue to throw yourself down the rabbit hole of open doors.
When we step out of there, step out of the thinking part, we can be left with our emotions. Part of embracing the unknown is embracing all the emotions that come with it no matter how hard they are, but basically opening our bodies to what it means to be with these emotions.
Once we do that and we welcome these emotions, instead of trying to accept them, we can feel a lot calmer in a way that allows us to look at the unknown as the normal part of life that it is.
I believe we romanticize the knowledge of who we are and what we want to do so much. We hear these stories about people that are so sure with what they want in their lives that we expect to feel the same way. We want to have our “sh*t figured out.” But you know what? Sometimes it’s the moment to not know, sometimes it’s the era of not understanding what is going on, and that is part of every person’s process.
Confusion often is a path that leads you through curiosity and into clarity.
Be confused once in a while people, it might be good for you. Stick with it and don’t try to avoid it. That is how you will metaphorically birth your own emotions.
I was going to write that I got you thinking, but I think this got me thinking even more.
I don’t know what you are confused about or what are your “options” in the unknown, but I wanted to share some prompts with which you can think about your unknown.
Remember to gestate your feelings, your ideas and thoughts. Let them be in your body and let them surround you. Get confused, get curious, get creative. Allow yourself to explore your own unknown and accept it fully. Accept that you don’t know. That is when life starts to make sense.
The freedom of the unknown brings a similar feeling to the freedom of anonymity. This sense of freedom from the not knowing and the not being is what sets us to feel open to our present moment and to our reality.
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