We all care at some point in our lives about what people think. It is important to learn when to care and when not to about their opinions.
The problem is that when you have decided not to care, how do you accomplish it? Comments can be hurtful and can lead to the demotivation of accomplishing your goals.
It can be hard to ignore people’s comments, especially when they are important to us. Here are some ideas of an inner conversation you could have with yourself when trying not to give importance to these opinions:
Allow yourself to disconnect from this opinion or comment that is bothering you and think about what this person is critiquing.
Ask yourself why are you doing this that they dislike. It probably leads to your future goals or objectives.
Now you can imagine yourself in that final step to accomplish it. Think about how this choice that you are making leads to that that you wish to achieve.
When you are dealing with an offensive opinion, tell yourself that these can change over time.
If what they said hurt you in some way it is always smart to remind yourself that this person will eventually grow and learn why they shouldn’t make these types of comments.
If it is something related to your physical appearance or what you are wearing, think to yourself that fashion changes and that tastes evolve. What this person finds “attractive” right now maybe they won’t later.
Also don’t forget to acknowledge that those who comment on the appearance of people negatively, normally have a lot of insecurities they have to deal with.
Learn to separate yourself from their problems.
Know that you are probably taking it to a way bigger scale than you should. Don’t let this comment get in your head. When you start overanalyzing and disintegrating the comment into tiny pieces you start to hurt yourself.
You may start to wonder why this person said such a thing or why were they so mean. We need to understand that sometimes we don’t know where the comment of this person came from or what were they trying to achieve by saying this.
People might even start to think that it was done out of pure evil when maybe they had a way different intention. We need to prevent ourselves from these harmful thoughts that lead us into a way deeper discomfort.
We need to know what we stand for in life when listening to other people’s comments. When thinking about what people say we can analyze where they are coming from.
They probably have a whole different set of values than we do. Doing this allows us to put ourselves in their perspective. If our opinion doesn’t align with theirs we need to acknowledge that we probably have a different set of values.
These values make up who we are and breaking them could lead to cognitive dissonance. Recognize that thanks to your values you make the choices you make, and know that since other people have different values that is why they may disagree with you.
Our values make us who we are and without them, we wouldn’t be different from the rest.
We need to find the people that appreciate and acknowledge different opinions. When we are with a toxic group of people that disrespect us and don’t let us share what we believe it’s a sign that we need to find a new environment.
Surround yourself with people that appreciate you. Try finding people that share similar opinions as you so that there is not that much discrepancy between your personalities.
This way arguments won’t happen that often.
If you don’t want people to be commenting on things that you find personal then do the same.
Don’t give hurtful opinions if you don’t want to receive any similar comments.
Learn to respect people’s space and who they are. We should also respect their opinion when it does not do any harm to anyone.
Instead of worrying about the lives of others, you can try reading a book. I love “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life“
Finally, we need to learn that we cannot agree with everyone. We are all different people and we don’t have the same opinions as the rest of the world.
Know that people may expect something different from you because of their beliefs or their culture, but you need to acknowledge that what you believe is best for you.
We can’t be people-pleasers because we stop pleasing ourselves. We are the most important and before you can help anyone else you need to be in the best terms with yourself.
Life is really short to be spending so much time thinking and caring about what other people say about you or what they think you should do with your life.
In the end, it’s your life and no one else’s, so enjoy it and don’t let people tell you how to live it.
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