6 steps to become more confident

What is confidence and what is it not?

Confidence means knowing your worth and recognizing your efforts to be who you are. It is not looking at your defects as something bad but as something to improve. Something to learn from and something to heal. Being confident is not about putting others down. It is not about bragging or about stepping on other people. Sometimes people’s way of showing confidence is to compare themselves with others. Confidence is about recognizing your attributes without needing to have a reference to compare yourself to. Being more or less something than someone else doesn’t make you better or worse. 

6 steps towards confidence

1. Look at what you judge from other people

We tend to judge others what we dislike about ourselves. Our insecurities show when we show judgment and hate towards others. By observing our thoughts and behaviors around other people we can find out what these things are. Make a list of the ones that pop out the most and work with those first. This is about beating your insecurities, not “fixing” them. It is about learning to accept yourself for who you are.

2. Stop judging others

When you judge others you are judging yourself. Not to mention that when other people see you judging you seem untrustable and fake. It is better to be genuine and recognize within yourself why you feel the need to talk bad about others. Almost everyone judges and it can be hard to stop. It can be easier to stop when you realize that other people judge you too and you rather not have people saying bad things about you. When you stop judging you stop hurting yourself as well.

Unsplash– Caique Silva

3. What don’t you like about yourself and why

Now it is important to recognize what you don’t like about yourself. It can be a physical quality, a bad habit, or a certain attitude. Generally, we dislike things about ourselves because other people tell us that they are wrong. And of course, everyone does have bad habits that can harm themselves and others. I am talking about a laugh people think is weird, or the fact that you like to dress a certain way. Is it society that tells you it is too different from everyone? Or Is it your family judging you? Is it your friends? It is better to see it as people that are afraid of what is different. Especially the ones that still believe that social media portrays reality. Analyze how these beliefs were placed in your head. Journal to figure out how to get rid of them. 

4. Look at who you follow, content you consume

This can be an important factor in why your confidence is down. Go into all of your social media accounts and start unfollowing people that make you feel like you are less than them. Unfollow people that idealize a certain lifestyle. Stop following pages that don’t show diversity and beauty. Consume content that makes you feel good about yourself.

5. Make a list of what you like about yourself

The most important step is to find things that you love about yourself. Even if you can’t find them at the moment write the ones that you can think about and focus on those. Enhance those parts of you and make them shine. Having your best attributes to the light will make you feel better and it will raise your self-esteem. It will help you find more things that you like about yourself.

6. Find something to stop you from judging yourself

Find a technique that prevents you from looking yourself in the mirror and seeing defects. Journal and thank the universe for your positive attributes. Write compliments to yourself in post-its and paste them around your room. All of this will help you realize the beauty that you have. 

Unsplash– Tyler Casey

Conclusion

Don’t forget to prioritize yourself. Remember that how you see yourself is how other people will see you. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. So be sure that you are giving yourself enough love and affection. Stop looking at things that you don’t like about yourself and look at what you love and appreciate. You will eventually love everything about yourself.

Carola Romero

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Carola Romero

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